Oh My God We've Been Robbed
by cupcakesandlovefests
Summary: Waking up to an un-sightly kitchen,why wouldn't Rachel assume that they'd been robbed?


"Oh my god"

It looked like their kitchen had been ransacked; it literally looked as if its entire contents had been used to decorate the surfaces. Various jars, aerosol cans, tubs.

What on earth would Quinn think of this mess?

Rachel heard a noise in the living room and ran straight in there expecting to find a bandit in black or someone stealing her and Quinn's share of awards that lined their mantel.

Instead she found Quinn, lying contentedly on the couch watching some random TV show with an empty bowl in her lap.

"Um, baby?" she asked puzzled, the blonde looked over to her and smiled.

"Aww, you're up. And wearing your owl sweater" was all she said.

"Wh..the kitchen, have you seen the kitchen?" Rachel asked, her voice raising a pitch.

Quinn suddenly looked embarrassed.

"I'll clean it up I promise" she mumbled.

The brunette's eyes grew wide.

"YOU made that mess? Oh honey, is it that time of month? Cause' no offence but it looks like you fancied a little of everything" she laughed as she sat on the couch.

The blonde leaned forward to put her bowl on the coffee table before hesitantly clasping and unclasping her hands in her lap.

"Sweetie, what is it?" Rachel asked gently as she took one of the woman's hands in her own.

"Um, well, I-I think-" she stammered before taking a deep breath, "I think it's worked this time"

Rachel looked slightly puzzled.

"What are you.." she trailed off before looking to Quinn's stomach, then the bowl, thinking of the catastrophe in the kitchen before looking back to the nervous blonde's small smile.

"You think you're pregnant"

Quinn nodded.

"I've been feeling off for a few days, I threw up yesterday, got up a few times in the night to pee which you know I never do and then I just suddenly got the urge to eat, well everything"

Rachel chuckled before squeezing her hand excitedly.

"Can I run to the drug store to get you a test?"

"Of course, I can hold off going to the bathroom for a few minutes. I'll start cleaning up while you're-"

"Uh uh" Rachel told her with her hands on her hips. "You leave that for now, you just wait here and I'll be as fast as I can"

Quinn busied herself with watching the ending of whatever Harry Potter movie had been left paused in their dvd player and waited for her wife's return.

She was starting to drift off when she heard the slam of the front door and the familiar sound of excited padding across the hardwood flooring.

She smiled and rubbed at her eyes just as Rachel skidded in still in her coat almost throwing the box at her.

The brunette refused to let her pee without her being present.

"Come on, Quinn" she whined as she sat on the edge of the bathtub.

Quinn rolled her eyes and ignored her.

After a minute there was still nothing.

"Do you need a drink?" Rachel asked.

"I can't pee with you in here, Rach, it's making me nervous" Quinn chuckled.

Rachel pouted slightly but nodded and stood any way.

"I'll be in the living room, baby"

A few minutes later Quinn walked in and placed the test on the coffee table on top of its box.

Both impatiently twiddling their thumbs or bobbing their legs as they waited impatiently for the five minutes to be up.

"Has it been five minutes?" Rachel asked quietly, Quinn nodded.

"You look" the blonde told her, Rachel of course wasted no time in picking it up.

"Oh my god" she whispered.

"What?" Quinn asked nervously.

"WE'RE GONNA BE PARENTS" Rachel yelled before pulling Quinn tightly to her.

Both of them squealed uncontrollably for about ten minutes before calling up their doctor to arrange an appointment for later that day.

They went, hand in hand, and Quinn was given an ultrasound. Their doctor happily told them that she was indeed a little over six weeks pregnant and they cried at seeing their baby's heartbeat.

Later that night they were in bed, both with a hand placed on the blonde's still ultra flat and toned stomach.

"I'm so proud of you" Rachel whispered giving her a sweet peck on the cheek, Quinn smiled dreamily.

"I'm proud of _us_, we did it, Rach. We're having a baby"

"The doctor told us we should wait until you're at least twelve weeks to start telling people, but do you think we should tell Britt and San?"

Quinn laughed.

"Have we ever been able to keep anything from them? Those two are so strangely intuitive that I'm sure they'll smell the happy and come running"

The brunette giggled and lovingly ran her hands through luscious blonde locks.

"Good point, well we'll have to give them a talking to about what not to say in front of their godchild"

"Think that'll work? B told me that David dropped the f-bomb the other day"

Rachel's mouth fell open but she couldn't help but laugh, picturing that little boy cursing was just..

"Oh dear, well maybe we should start a swear jar?"

Four years later. David is seven and Elizabeth is nearing her fourth birthday.

"Mommy, what's a ho?"

David snorted and the women at the table all tried not to choke on their food.

Rachel raised an eyebrow at Santana who was trying her best to look angelic, after ten seconds of intense eye contact she gave up.

"What?" she asked. "Why are you looking at me like that? I can't help that the kid happened to hear my ringtone"

"Santana" Quinn said, "Swear jar"

She rolled her eyes but got up and stuffed a dollar in the jar that was starting to get pretty full.

"Daaaaamn, is that all just from me? Maybe I should just start a monthly transfer from my bank to yours, you're lucky I love you sons of-"

"San!" Brittany said quickly to save another dollar, they were well off and she understood why the jar was there but still it'd be nice to not end up giving all their money to their friends.

"I like that song" Elizabeth said in between spooning mouthfuls of potato into her mouth.

"What song, sweetie?" Rachel asked as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Fuck all you hoes"

Rachel nearly dropped her mug, 'Brittana' were finding it impossible not to laugh, David was just as bad and even Quinn was pursuing her lips to keep from laughing.

The brunette shook her head and looked down to hide her smile.

"Liz, baby, those words aren't nice, we never want to hear you say them again, okay?"

The little girl shrugged and smiled.

"Okay, mommy. No more Biggie"

Santana snorted and slapped the table hysterically.

"I love this kid, thank you so much for letting us be her godparents"

Rachel and Quinn smiled.

"Hey San" the blonde said raising an eyebrow, "stick another dollar in that jar before you lose your cool godmother status"

"Hollllllld up" Santana said raising a hand, "I have a better idea of how to handle this"

"You do?" Rachel asked, both interested and worried.

"Yeah, we can put my terrible mouth and generous pocket to some good use. How about you two just let B and I stick $20 in Lizzy's trust every month?"

"That's actually a brilliant idea" Rachel smiled.

"I like it" Brittany said smiling and giving her wife a kiss on the cheek.

"We'd appreciate that, San" Quinn said with a nod.

Santana just smiled.

"And you're gonna have to let me know what I can't play in front of her, cause' she's like Rachel, she picks lyrics up in ten seconds"

"I'll make it easy" Quinn laughed, "no rap or hip hop"

"Aww, this stinks!" Lizzy said folding her arms.

Rachel sighed.

"We'll find edited versions for you to dance to, okay?"

Elizabeth smiled sweetly and batted her eyelashes.

"Thank you, mama"


End file.
